The Insanity that Fate Brings
by Anime the Chikyuu no Oujo
Summary: Frodo has daily mishaps with the blender, Sam works at a shop called Monkies and More and Sarumons the local closet monkey? What the hell? Gandalfs a drunk? Legolas isn't good at anything? Aragorns on vacation? WHATS GOING ON HERE?
1. THE EYES!

The Insanity that Fate Brings  
  
Chapter 1: Moth-balls  
  
"FIREY EYESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!! THE FIREY EYES SAMMY!!!!"  
  
Sam groaned.  
  
'It must be time for Frodo's daily mishap with the blender...'  
  
Gandalf was asleep, sprawled out on the couch, wearing his customary sunglasses and can of miller-lite.  
  
Gimli was yelling at Legolas for the fourth time that day not to over water his geraniums.  
  
Aragorn was just staring transfixed at Legolas' pigtails.  
  
"Getting in touch with his feminine side."  
  
As the neighbor-girl called it.  
  
She was sitting on their fence, snickering like a maniac.  
  
The frightening thing was he actually looked good with pigtails.  
  
Merry was in the kitchen cooking, and Pippin was still in the bathroom.  
  
"I hate the world and the world hates me and Elrond is a liar!"  
  
Pippin had gone what their neighbor, Kirstin, liked to call, "morbid-punk".  
  
Frodo had been watching cartoons, but, with the blender and all, he was pretty tied up...literally.  
  
"SAMMY!!!!!"  
  
And Sam?  
  
Well, Sam had gotten into drugs.  
  
...  
  
Not those type of drugs!  
  
He was the "doctor" of the "family".  
  
Well maybe he was a...bit...into those drugs...but still!  
  
"SAMMY!!!!!! IT'S GOING TO EAT ME!!!!! HELP!!!!! MELLON!!!! ANYTHING!!! STOP THIS THING!!!!!"  
  
And Saruman...had taken up being the official closet monkey.  
  
Or as Aragorn liked to put it.  
  
"He's smelling the moth balls, I swear."  
  
Or how Legolas put it.  
  
"It's the happy drugs."  
  
TBC  
  
I wrote this in four minutes... 


	2. The Mountains

The Insanity that Fate Brings  
  
Chapter 2: Mountains  
  
Frodo had been extracted from his "captured" state in the blender's cord. And Gandalf was complaining that they had run out of miller-lite.  
  
"HOW CAN I HAVE MY MILLER-TIME IF I'M ALL OUT OF BEER???"  
  
Apparently Saruman had emerged from his closet monkey business, pun much intended, and was now on the roof of the house, spinning around with a basket of flowers.  
  
"THE HILLLLLLLSSSSS ARE ALIIIIIVVVVEEEEE WITH THE SOUND OF MUUUUUUUUSIIIICCCCC!!!!"  
  
"SHUT UP YA JERK!!"  
  
It didn't help things that they lived in Utah, where the mountains ran wild and free...sorta...  
  
Legolas had stop getting in touch with his feminine side and taken his hair out of the pigtails. Gimli had finally departed for work, and Sam did so as well, heading for his clerk job at the local "Monkeys-n-More" store. Which carried several genres of movies, a limited selection of "groceries"(mostly otaku type groceries, such as Pocky, Yan-Yan, and several types of drinks and koala cookies.), although sadly, they carried no monkeys.  
  
Merry after fixing breakfast went about his daily routine. Vacuuming, feeding the birds, putting (Japanese style) offerings on Boromir's alter, and taking care of the family dog, Mithrandir.  
  
Legolas, having no real skills outside being at home, had taken up managing a Website about his own little series of short stories, comics, and photography.  
  
Aragorn was just a plain bum and claimed that after being King of Gondor for 1000 years deserved a "6000-year vacation". Which was in its 8000th year.  
  
And Frodo?  
  
Well Frodo was... a little off after the whole "Ring-Bearer, holding the fate of the world on your shoulders" thing. He was a bit insane, but mostly spent his days watching various Japanese shows, being the picture of otaku.  
  
Pippin was "morbid-punk" though he still loved nature, and spent much of his time painting in the woods. He was certainly strange; everyone in the fellowship gave him that, even Frodo.  
  
The only true mortal people outside the fellowship that would come near the house were just as equally strange in one way or another.  
  
Marty, a friend of Gimli's from work. He only came over once in a while, on account of one of Frodo's episodes, involving Marty's arm and a rabid cat. After that, Marty began buying dogs; he had four or five now.  
  
Kirstin, a friend of all the fellowship and Pippin's reason for becoming a punk. Though she was just as much as an otaku as Frodo.  
  
Erica, Kirstin's friend, Legolas' "stalker", and the one who found Mithrandir for them. She was an otaku, and her and Aragorn had some sort of grudge for one another since day one. Though they seemed like friends after a while.  
  
Demi, the manager at Sam's place of work, best friend of Gandalf and a jokester. One time he put a firecracker down Saruman's pants and Saruman's voice was like a little boys for the next week and a half.  
  
See what I mean?  
  
TBC 


End file.
